{"id":4232,"date":"2017-02-10T11:03:54","date_gmt":"2017-02-10T19:03:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/the365effect.com\/?p=4232"},"modified":"2017-02-14T15:10:28","modified_gmt":"2017-02-14T23:10:28","slug":"5-risks-every-man-take-build-stronger-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the365effect.com\/5-risks-every-man-take-build-stronger-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Risks Every Man Should Take To Build Stronger Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"
—<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n The best relationship I’ve ever known is with my wife. It’s one that’s evolved over time and one which continues to evolve. \u00a0It’s twisting, deepening, questioning and imprinting me like my own personal ranch brand, searing it’s pattern into my flesh, bone and mind.<\/p>\n When I look back over the 23 years of our life together I have a hard time isolating the hard times that we’ve\u00a0faced. The good memories and quality moments far outweigh the bad.<\/p>\n I’m not saying for a second that we didn’t have our share of good, bad and ugly and I’m imagining we’ll still face some challenges in the years ahead. What I do know, is that my ability to take a risk with Kathy has been one of the major success stories of our relationship.<\/p>\n Apologizing.<\/p>\n Making a stand when it came to a parenting decision I felt strongly about.<\/p>\n Letting her know she hurt me with her words or actions.<\/p>\n Admitting I was wrong.<\/p>\n Following my path and not hers.<\/p>\n “We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” – Barbara de Angelis<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n It’s never easy to take a risk.<\/p>\n I’ve been considered a “Risk Taker” by my friends and peers. My lifestyle of adventure and living what appeared to be a life constantly on the edge led them to this conclusion. The fact however, is that my adventurous pursuits have much less inherent risk than the risks which I’ve taken in my relationships. In an adventure pursuit, be it Rock Climbing or Mountaineering, the risks are ones which you can prepare for. \u00a0You gain the skills necessary to proceed with the least amount of risk possible. In a relationship for the most part you’re blindly moving forward, dipping your toe into the water to see how warm it is before you fully immerse yourself.<\/p>\n Relationships are much riskier!<\/p>\n \u2666\u25ca\u2666<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n Risk – A situation involving exposure to danger<\/em><\/p>\n Trust your gut and go with what’s right for you.<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n Everyone out there is going to try and sell you, convince you, change you or sway you to their point of view. It’s natural. The risk men must take in relationships is to be that authentic self. Uncover yourself by staying true to what you know is right and don’t ever be afraid to speak this truth.<\/p>\n If confronted with a decision that makes you feel as if you’re tumbling inside a cement mixer, it’s your gut instinct that you’ll have to learn to listen to.<\/p>\n It’s never wrong and we all feel and know the consequences when we don’t follow our guts.<\/p>\n Have you ever walked on fire or witnessed one of these empowerment sessions? The training centers on breaking through or facing a fear(s). \u00a0One of the techniques that’s sometimes used before stepping onto the fire is the “Arrow Break”<\/a>. \u00a0It’s a beautiful visual, experience and tool which can create a powerful sense of confidence for a participant.<\/p>\n Hard Talks can be like the Arrow Break\u00a0a relationship.<\/p>\n I define\u00a0Hard Talks as conversations where we come out from behind any veils that might be in front of us. Hard Talks are our reality. Nothing more and nothing less. The good, bad or ugly\u00a0with no sugar coating in between. I believe the key to Hard Talking lies in our ability to gain permission to have the talk in the first place. We’ve all seen or heard movies where in an emotional scene two star crossed lovers look into each others eyes and say “Promise me you’ll always be honest, promise me you’ll always tell me the truth”. \u00a0This is the ground work for gaining permission and the set up for Hard Talks to come.<\/p>\n When you feel a Hard Talk is necessary all you need to do is go back to the place where you’ve gained the last permission. If you said to your relationship counterpart at some point “Let’s agree that if one of us is feeling that the other is taking them for granted, we’ll immediately talk about it”. This pre-work, this setting up and gaining permission is your safe ground. \u00a0All you have to do when initiating a Hard Talk is remind them first of this permission. Take the emotional baggage out of it from the beginning. \u00a0The permission can take all the heat, not you.<\/p>\n If your counterpart reacts negatively to the Hard Talk all you need to do is fall back on what you’ve both previously agreed upon and hold fast to that. Do it in a kind, uncharged, and respectful way but don’t hold back your feelings. \u00a0Push that arrow forward and gain confidence every time.<\/p>\n “When someone shows you\u00a0who they are, believe them\u00a0the first time.” –\u00a0Maya Angelo<\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/a><\/p>\n Definition – To develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.<\/em><\/p>\n As Tim Robbins famously said in his performance in The Shawshank Redemption<\/em> – “Get busy living or get busy dying.”<\/p>\n Evolving as a man is vital to strengthening relationships. The risk it takes to continually strive for our own person greatness, challenge the status quo, learn more, grow and prosper as a man takes guts.<\/p>\n The forces of society weigh\u00a0heavily on our broad shoulders.<\/p>\n At times it’s hard to try and carry this weight. The tendencies to eat\u00a0whatever we want, drink ourselves to sleep, lay on the couch, or escape through other addictions cozily snuggles up to our psyche and can stunt our evolution.<\/p>\n “The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.” –\u00a0<\/span>Oprah Winfrey<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Continually risking to be put into that uncomfortable place of learning will force us to evolve. In this evolution we gain more skills that can strengthen our relationships. Others are evolving, we must do so or risk becoming extinct.<\/p>\n Life is serious enough. Our relationships can always use a bit of silly. There isn’t a Top Ten list out there which doesn’t include a sense of humor as top trait wanted when searching for a man.<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n Children want to play with their Dads and don’t always have to\u00a0witness\u00a0Dad being perfect at everything.<\/p>\n Co-Workers need to see a different side of you.<\/p>\n Your Lover will appreciate a different twist.<\/p>\n Being Foolish can be defined as lacking in wisdom. So being foolish opens up the path to wisdom and wisdom in a relationship is a good thing.<\/p>\n “He is the wisest man who knows himself to be ill-equipped for the study of wisdom” – Plato<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The challenge with risking to be foolish is admitting we’re human. Men like to retreat into caves and solve problems, alone. When we allow ourselves to be foolish we’re showing our vulnerability, our lack of expertise and our playful side. It’s in this foolishness that we can open up and learn from others, gain wisdom and show that we are indeed human.<\/p>\n <\/a>It sounds like a science experiment — “stabilize your environment” but to me it’s the most important part of strengthening relationships.<\/p>\n My wife and I evolved into this model very early into our time together and I believe it’s contributed to our success as a couple, a family and as individuals.<\/p>\n Volatility in relationships usually means trouble. There will always be ups and downs but constant instability will undoubtedly lead to relationship failure.<\/p>\n When you look at an immediate family dynamic you have 3 crucial components: Mine is like this<\/p>\n Me – The individual (you)<\/p>\n Kathy – My wife<\/p>\n Family – My 2 sons, my wife and myself<\/p>\n I’m in charge of all of these relationships. I am the Master of my fate.<\/a>\u00a0The key to this dynamic though, is although they’re all connected not one is more important than the other. Each is unique and each has different needs and wants. The risk here is to know when to leave the area of stability and focus my attention to the area where it is needed the most.<\/p>\n I cannot risk myself or family for the sake of my wife.<\/em><\/p>\n I cannot risk my marriage or self for the sake of my family<\/em><\/p>\n I cannot risk my wife or family for the sake of myself<\/em><\/p>\n Leaving the area of stability is a risk each and every time. It’s a risk to my comfort, to my communication, to my ego and to my desires. It is however a risk that I gladly accept for I know it’s benefits far outweigh the brief moments of discomfort when I leave the oasis of stability.<\/p>\n \u2666\u25ca\u2666<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0Men shouldn’t be scared of taking a risk to strengthen a relationship. The 5 risks that I’ve stated above have worked for me but I’m also excited to take more. I want to continue to evolve and stretch my boundaries in all my relationships.<\/p>\n Writing is one of these risks for me, putting out there what I believe and feel strong enough to share with you. It’s sometimes foolish, often unstable and at times hard to talk about but at the same time I’m evolving and being the man I’m meant to be. \u00a0You might say I’m risking my relationship with you the reader.<\/p>\n What say you? \u00a0Relationships are always about new learning and I want to learn from you. \u00a0Hit me up in the comments and share your secret or thoughts about how to strengthen relationships. \u00a0Can’t wait to hear from you.<\/p>\n Alan<\/p>\n \u00ab\u2666\u00bb<\/strong><\/i><\/p>\n As always, I welcome all comments and thoughts.<\/i><\/p>\n If you\u2019re finding \u201cThe 365 Effect Blog” interesting then please\u00a0subscribe to the newsletter<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and make sure to\u00a0say hi on Instagram<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0and our FaceBook Group<\/a><\/i><\/p>\n Click on any of the links above to be taken there immediately.<\/i><\/p>\n —Title Photo: Pixabay<\/a><\/p>\n Additional Photos: Unsplash\/Ian Schneider<\/a>, Anita Peeples<\/a>, Kevin Schmitz<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Better sex, deeper love, and timeless friendships all develop when you take a risk to strengthen your relationships. — The best relationship I’ve ever known is with my wife. It’s one that’s evolved over time and one which continues to evolve. \u00a0It’s twisting, deepening, questioning and imprinting me like my own personal ranch brand, searing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nRisks like:<\/h2>\n
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5 Risks Every Man Should Take<\/h2>\n
1. Be The Man You’re Meant To Be<\/h3>\n
2.\u00a0Hard Talk<\/h3>\n
3. Evolve<\/h3>\n
4. Be Foolish<\/h3>\n
5.\u00a0Stabilize Your Environment<\/h3>\n
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